This is what I think I am when I work out. I think that I'm powerful, fast, strong, lean and can go for miles.Unfortunately, that image of me is only in my mind. In real life, I have more of a Rubenesque type body. One that prefers laying on the couch reading than being up and out running.
I have spent years exercising and dieting and trying to achieve this runner's look to have it come for a fleeting period of time and vanish the moment I let my guard down.
image at: www.shoeguide.co.uk/.../
I thought I was going to have another opportunity to get this body during my Year of Movement. In January I started training for a 12k race and a half marathon. I thought, surely I'll lose weight! I have to be committed and keep exercising in order to show up to the races and be able to finish, right? Well, during the past four months I have lost one pound and gained three! How can that be possible with a consistent training schedule of running or walking from 9 to 20 or more miles in a week?!
Sometimes you just have to say it is what it is and move on. Some thoughts I've had during this journey I'm taking as I'm preparing for the races and things I've learned about myself.
1. I'm more about the destination, than the journey.
When I'm traveling, I like getting to my destination in the shortest amount of time possible. If I could click my heels three times and be there, that would really make me happy, but life's not like that. Most things take time and I'm learning to enjoy the moment. When I begin an 11 mile walk, like I did this morning, I know it's going to take me a few hours to complete my journey. I put the destination aside and concentrate on being in the present, not the future.
2. Pain is momentary and I can get through it.
When I began this training program, I planned on running the races. I thought if I just show up and do the time, I'll be prepared. As I struggled to lengthen my runs from two miles to three, pain would show up and I would just tell myself, as soon as you stop running the pain will be gone. Just go a little farther. And I did.
3. It's important to know when to listen to the pain.
Our bodies give us signals for a reason. Mine usually has to clobber me over the head to make me listen. As I increased my mileage to five or more miles, my body decided it really didn't like running and the pain increased to the point where I could no longer run. I injured my knee and rather than push myself to the point where I will be recovering long after the race is over, I've decided to walk both races.
4. Paradigm shifts are necessary at times.
Remember the above picture? Ya, that's my head and my body just wasn't having any of it. Remember, it's a Rubenesque body that prefers couches and it when it began complaining very loudly (you should hear my legs complain!) my head just didn't want to listen. Finally, after a week or two, body convinced my head that the whole point of the race was to finish and finishing it in one piece without complications it was threatening sounded like a really good idea.
So, my journey of enlightenment has led me to some thoughts:
Enjoy the moment I'm in. Be present in the present. Set lofty goals and enjoy the struggle it takes to achieve those goals. It's always ok to revamp goals if necessary. Some pain is ok, it'll stop when I stop, so why not go a little further?
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